he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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