Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Randomize
