I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
