I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Farmville is her only friend.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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