Do you still have your period?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
