Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize