you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I wish i was in the wii world.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
