i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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