Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
