That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
