omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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