just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
