Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
What a dumb baby whore.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
