Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
