i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
