I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
