Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize