I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
