I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
