Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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