By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
