I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
