the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
MIDGETS
????
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
