at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
