It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
