My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize
