the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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