Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize