I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
