Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
