Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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