All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
