Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
