Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We have started to decorate penises.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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