i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize