apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
