ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
