Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
