I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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