I'm really into asian looking animals
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
