Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
