I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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