It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
