A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just tell him i said nine months
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
