My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Terrible idea I love it
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
