I don't think brook has ever known best
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
