Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
