I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
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