I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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