Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
