I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
