I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Terrible idea I love it
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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