hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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