her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
my being single is dangerous.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
