Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
