no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
