fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
