the new term for farting is butt boxing.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
