it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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