I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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