How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize