Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
