Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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