My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
